9 Tips that will help you enjoy (rather than survive) the holidays
For me, the holiday season starts with Halloween in October and ends early February with my youngest daughter’s birthday.
It’s A LOT. And I experience it as such. It’s a lot of fun. It’s a lot of organization. It’s a lot of doing. In a typical holiday season I put so much pressure on getting everything right that I go through the season literally not breathing. Instead of being present, my focus is consistently on the next event or item on my to do list. Familiar?
This year I made the conscious decision not to stress about anything. When I find myself stressed, I look for ways of calming my nervous system and/or offloading work. It’s going really well!
These are my tips for leaning into enjoyment this holiday season:
1.Check in with your nervous system
When was the last time you paused? Have you breathed today? How’s your body doing? Are your thoughts racing? Are you anxious about things that wouldn’t normally be a big deal to you?
The holiday busyness can be hard on our nervous systems. Step one is remedying this is to acknowledge it. Step 2 is to ask yourself what you need right now. Sometimes this is rest, sometimes it’s some time alone. Maybe you need some space in your agenda to get some things done.
Whatever it is, I'd recommend doing it. A balanced nervous system makes every part of your life more enjoyable. It also makes you a more enjoyable person to be around.
2. Check in with how your kids are coping
It’s all supposed to be fun. And so much of it is! But it’s no fun for anyone when your kids are falling apart because they need: a break / 1:1 attention / real food / sleep, etc.
It’s ok to change / cancel plans when it means that everyone will have more fun the next day. This is true even if you risk disappointing someone.
3. Choose real fun
Fun is a feeling. It’s something you feel in your body. It’s expansive and exciting. We often get trapped doing things that our minds think should be fun, but they don’t actually feel that way. Or, maybe we do things because they are fun for the kids, but we’d actually rather be doing just about anything else. Or, it sounded like fun when we said yes, but now we’re so depleted we can’t imagine getting off the couch.
Choose activities that feel good at the moment you choose to do them. Do them because you’re excited about them. Whoever you’re doing them with will feel this excitement, so it’s more fun for them too. AND, remember, if you have a lot of resistance when the time comes to do the thing, you’re allowed to change / cancel the plans.
4. Set (loving) boundaries
Take a critical look at your Christmas plans. Where would moving things around in a way that better suits YOU make the holidays more enjoyable? Sometimes these changes seem impossible, but leaving an event an hour early or changing a dinner into a breakfast can make all the difference. Don’t forget to communicate these changes with loving intention. Boundaries are an act of self love.
5. Acknowledge your obligations
The holidays are a time of doing things because you have to. Sometimes showing up is a requirement. But, when doing these ‘dreaded’ things, at least acknowledge to yourself that you’d rather be somewhere else.
Then, feel the feelings you have leading up to the event. Are you nervous? Worried? Uncomfortable? Let these feelings be there.
Finally, make the most being at this thing you don’t want to be at. Find the one person at the event who you really enjoy talking to. Bring a game you love to make it more fun. Choose a new restaurant to meet at so that at least that bit feels expansive. Breathe. Show up as yourself. Maybe you’ll be surprised.
6. Release perfection…
…Because it doesn’t exist. You can strive to make the perfect Christmas dinner, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be experienced that way. Instead of choosing perfection, choose manageable and fun. If making santa shaped cookies for the party is going to take a stressful amount of time (and a mess) consider chocolate chip. Lots of (online) grocery stores even sell really nice cookie dough. The kids can help roll the dough into balls. Fun! (and done).
7. Delegate (or ask for help)
I considered calling this ‘ask for help’, but that’s something different. When there are things that multiple people are responsible for, ‘asking for help’ is called delegating. For example, this year my husband and I built a sheet in Drive where we outline all the presents for the kids and who is going to buy what. We also decided on what to buy together. This took so much pressure off for me! I have a stellium in Libra, so decisions are HARD. Especially when my nervous system is taking hits, which is always the case at this time of year.
8. Do the things when you have energy to do them
When you see presents in a store, buy them. When you have time and energy to wrap presents in early December, do it (even when it’s just a couple). Get things done when it feels good instead of waiting for the perfect ‘practical’ moment.
The holiday season is going to come along every year for the rest of your life. Even if you just choose one or two of the items in the above list to apply this year, it will make a difference.
9. Go to bed on time
Turn off the Christmas movie at the halfway mark, choosing for extra sleep. It will make tomorrow much more enjoyable.
Happy Holidays everyone! ❤️ 🎄
~ Jaimie